Fashion Do's and Don'ts

My wife is not ashamed to admit that she reads Hollywood trash magazines. (Is it my duty as a husband to be ashamed for her?) She is quite familiar with the fashion lists of do's and don'ts that movie stars are judged by and we have been making our own list in Korea.

DO'S
1. Burberry. Anything by Burberry, anything by Burberry. Even pants.

2. High heels for women. Especially if they are very high and very difficult to walk in. Short skirts with high heels are preferred, but jeans or track pants do not exclude a women from wearing them.

3. Any arrangement of English words on a shirt. The words do not have to make any sense, be grammatically correct, or be in any proper order. Any arrangement of English words will do. Here is a quote from a book I read that is a spot-on observation linking the English language and Korean fashion. "English has many uses. One of them is a fashion accessory - a language whose function is glamour. It doesn't matter if the glamour carries little or no semantic meaning; the mere atmosphere of English is message enough. The language acts like a brand name." For instance, here is a short selection of shirts we have seen (There are more of these to come, and some of you can look forward to a few souvenir shirts coming your way. Whether these shirts will fit or not is another story. We got the largest sizes possible, but large clothing in Korean doesn't always fit even an average Canadian.)

I ONLY NEED JUICY

CATCH THE FLATFOOTED

THE DIFFERENT AND NAIVE VINTAGE BOHEMIAN RETOUCH

WOOD FRIENDS PARTY FOR YOUR HAPPINESS

BEAUTIFUL TIME PARTNER

4. Couple jackets. Everytime Jenn and I wear our grey Columbia fleecies at the same time, the kids all comment with a sly twinkle in their eyes, "Oh teacher, couple jackets." It is quite common for a man and woman who are romantically involved to buy matching jackets. So I guess we fit right in. On a similar note, some of the students have figured out that we are a couple by asking me the question, "Jennifer Teacher, I love you?" I think this means, "Do you love Jennifer Teacher?" And when I say yes, the kids all squeal with laughter. I'm not sure why it's so hilarious, so maybe I'm interpreting the question incorrectly. Other kids have taken to humming the wedding march when they see us together (Da dum da dum ...)

DON'TS
1. I don't know if this category really applies. I don' t think there is any pattern matching, colour coordination, or fabric mixing that Koreans won't try. They'll wear anything!!